In the middle of a global pandemic, what would you do with $300 million in funding? Buy some PPE for nurses in need maybe? Pay for some free testing? Build a master spreadsheet of the political leanings of Hollywood’s biggest stars? If it were me, I would go with the third option. And apparently so did the U.S. government, specifically the Department of Health and Human Services!
Last month married man Dennis Quaid announced a PSA he did, intended to combat COVID-19, was not political. As Politico reported today, however, the goal of HHS’s overall PSA project was to show that “Helping the President Will Help the Country.” The House Oversight Committee is investigating the PSA effort after millions of dollars in contracts were awarded to produce the campaign, intended to debut before the election and which will likely never see the light of day. So what did these millions buy? Well, based on Politico’s reporting, seemingly at least one (1) spreadsheet of over 250 celebrities and their political leanings. (Per the spreadsheet, Quaid was one of the few who bit.)
The spreadsheet is titled “PSA Celebrity Tracker.” On it are Adam Levine, who “supported Obama and fights for gay rights,” and everyone’s favorite, “Julianna [sic] Moore,” gun control advocate. Robert Downey Jr. is “not a Trump supporter, identifies as a conservative,” per the spreadsheet. Armie Hammer? No notes on politics, just: “Arrested in 2011 for marijuana possession.” (Hammer paid a fine and was released.) Selena Gomez said no flat out apparently, as did Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Luke Bryan (there’s no notation on politics for those who declined). Guy Fieri was apparently “overcommitted.”
Did these people spend millions of dollars to figure out that Guy Fieri was “overcommitted”? The thing is that I could have told you that for free! The king of diners, drive-ins, and dives is at the height of his career, producing both TV series and wine. He’s keeping many Joints afloat, both a Taco Joint and a Burger Joint! He’s feeding firemen. He’s busy.
Perhaps the best, longest, wettest chef’s kiss of the spreadsheet is the Lin-Manuel Miranda entry. Of Miranda, the writer and performer of Hamilton, the entry states: “No information regarding political affiliation.” Incredible.
One of the many issues with this multimillion-dollar P.R. project, Politico reports, is that the contractor who was suggested to produce the videos was a business associate of HHS spokesperson Michael Caputo, a Trump aide and a man whose racist commentary on the web includes, from March of this year, such morsels as “millions of Chinese suck the blood out of rabid bats as an appetizer and eat the ass out of anteaters.” With that kind of excellent work behind Caputo, the president appointed him as the Health and Human Services spokesperson in April, and “demanded” that he produce this P.R. campaign to combat negative COVID news in the media. (Caputo has since gone on leave after being diagnosed with cancer, and also declined Politico’s request for comment, citing his medical treatment.) Politico reports that the goal, in part, was to “defeat despair” and “inspire hope.” It is a pity that Fieri had a prior engagement because if there’s anyone who could turn this thing around, it’s the inventor of Donkey Sauce.
More Great Stories From Vanity Fair
— Monica Lewinsky on the Pandemic’s Forgotten F-Word
— Why Harry and Meghan Won’t Spend Christmas With the Queen
— What One Book Critic Learned by Reading 150 Trump Books
— How Ghislaine Maxwell Recruited Young Girls for Jeffrey Epstein
— More Details Emerge on Prince Harry and Prince William’s “Bitter Explosion”
— Tracing Photographer Richard Avedon’s Bohemian Coming of Age
— From the Archive: The Mysteries of Princess Diana’s Fatal Car Crash
— Not a subscriber? Join Vanity Fair to receive full access to VF.com and the complete online archive now.