One night after admitting he didn’t bother watching the Republican National Convention, Stephen Colbert closed out his week of live broadcasts by checking back in with the GOP event. What he found was an audience of about 1,500 maskless spectators sitting closely together on the South Lawn of the White House in flagrant violation of health protocols established during the coronavirus pandemic.
“I know Republicans like voter suppression, I didn’t know they kicked it up to voter extinction,” the Late Show host joked.
The main draw for the GOP on Thursday night was President Donald Trump’s acceptance speech, which was not only littered with falsehoods but also notable for a number of verbal flubs made by Trump while reading the TelePrompTer.
“My fellow Americans, tonight, with a heart full of gratitude and boundless optimism, I profoundly accept this nomination for President of the United States,” Trump said near the start of his 70-minute oration. In the printed remarks, Trump was supposed to say he “proudly” accepted the nomination.
Colbert was quick to pounce on the mistake.
“‘Profoundly accept’? That is a super weird choice of adverb,” Colbert said, before launching into an impression of Trump. “I searchingly thank you, I will tightly work hard to abdominally earn it.”
Later in his speech, Trump again slipped up while attempting to read. When discussing the coronavirus pandemic, Trump said, “Thanks to advances, we have pioneered the fatality rate.” After a momentary pause, he added, “and you look at it and you look at the numbers. It has been reduced by 80 percent since April.”
In the prepared remarks, the comma came before the mention of the “fatality rate”: “Thanks to advances we have pioneered, the fatality rate has been reduced by 80 percent since April.”
Again, Colbert jumped on Trump for his poor phrasing. “Yes, ‘pioneered’ because this many people haven’t died since covered wagons,” joked the host while again impersonating Trump. “These people down here in the high risk rows know what I’m talking about, right?”
Colbert criticized Trump for speaking in “hushed and boring” tones throughout his speech but did give the president credit for one thing. “Americans are exhausted,” Trump said at one point.
“Yes, we are, after listening to you for 70 minutes. But at last, it’s over,” Colbert said. He then took one final parting shot at the last “four nights of bone-chilling nonsense from America’s top trash bags” and specifically Donald Trump Jr.