Sometimes you watch a movie that makes you permanently dumber for sitting through it. May I present The Beekeeper, an inane Jason Statham action movie with a stupid story, annoying characters, and Jason Statham doing what Jason Statham does best: kicking ass.
The Beekeeper is about… hell, I worry that trying to explain the plot will make me even stupider. Needless to say, it involves an old woman getting scammed out of all her money, a suicide, and a beekeeper going on a rampage to avenge her—oh, and he is an expertly trained government assassin who belongs to an elite group called The Beekeepers.
Damn, I do feel dumber for just saying that much (and that only scratches the surface). The rest of the movie involves illogical plotting, tedious writing, and way too many on-the-nose bee metaphors (“metaphor” may be too generous of a word). There’s a fair amount of action, with a couple minutes or worthwhile badassery, but the action isn’t enough to save this idiotic movie.
Let’s just end this review now so I can work on eliminating The Beekeeper from my memory. You may think I’d end on a bee pun, but let’s move on with our lives.
Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.