Brian Gobelle “persistently referred to Jessie Nelson with she/her pronouns and with gendered nicknames like ‘sweetheart’, ‘honey’, and ‘pinky’”, according to the ruling by Devyn Cousineau, member of the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal.
Despite Nelson asking Gobelle to stop, he refused, and a second conversation between them about the issue became “heated”. Four days later, Nelson was fired by Ryan Kingsberry, who runs the restaurant.
Explaining to Nelson why they were fired, Kingsberry said they had come on “too strong too fast” and were too “militant”.
Nelson later took their case to the human rights tribunal, alleging that “Gobelle’s conduct towards them, and the employer’s response, amounts to discrimination in employment based on their gender identity and expression”, in violation of the British Columbia Human Rights Code.
Cousineau agreed that Nelson’s human rights had been violated by the deliberate misgendering.
The judge ordered the Canada restaurant’s management to pay Nelson $30,000 in damages, as well as “implement a pronoun policy and mandatory training for all staff and managers about diversity, equity and inclusion”.
Jessie Nelson, a restaurant server in Canada, said the discrimination was ‘a piece of trauma in a long line of trauma for a trans person living a trans experience’
Testifying for the hearing, Jessie Nelson said they “don’t expect perfection around my pronouns; I never have”.
But the deliberate and repeated misgendering by the bar manager was a “trauma” that left them “scared and sad”.
They said that the job at the restaurant was one of their “first jobs I had where I felt confident enough to disclose who I was”.
“This was the first time I was like, ‘You know what, I’m going to be fully myself’,” Nelson said.
“I deserve that. I’m 32 years old. I’ve lived long enough pretending… I don’t believe that trans people should have to do that, but I did feel like it would be beneficial. And it was devastating.
“It’s a piece of trauma in a long line of trauma for a trans person living a trans experience.”
They added: “I was scared and sad for myself, but more than that I was really worried about future people… I am here today in bringing this forward because it is important for me, as a trans person, to have my existence respected.
“I’m a human being, with a beating heart and a desire to be seen and valued and heard in the world. And I’m also here for every other current and future trans or queer person working in a service or customer‐facing setting so that hopefully this doesn’t happen anymore.
“Because it’s a lot. It’s very draining. And we deserve to live, and have joy, and be respected for who we are.”