Chrissy Teigen says that while she knows being in the “cancel club” means that she should probably take a long break from the internet, she just can’t quit sharing her thoughts on social media.
On Wednesday, the model turned chef penned a lengthy Instagram post reflecting on her experience being held accountable for her past behavior after a number of harassing tweets and direct messages she allegedly sent to Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham, Lindsay Lohan, and Courtney Stodden in 2011 were resurfaced in May of this year. At the time of the Twitter exchanges, Stodden was 16 and facing immense media criticism for marrying 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison, whom the non-binary star has since accused of “grooming” them. Alongside a photo of her legs on a couch, Teigen wrote on social media this week, “I don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer.”
The Sports Illustrated cover star then went on to confess that while she’s currently feeling “lost” as to her place on the internet and what she or shouldn’t be doing, the one thing she does know is that “I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay,” adding, “I’m not used to any other way!!” She continued, “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow. All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day.”
She concluded by admitting that this whole Instagram post was probably a bad idea to begin with because it’s just “gonna get brutally picked apart.” But she concluded by saying that no matter the backlash, after two months of still regularly posting on social media without addressing the controversy, “I can’t do this silent shit anymore! If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u.”
In May, Teigen apologized to Stodden for her past actions in a string of tweets, saying, “Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bullshit in front of the entire world. I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll,” adding that she had also “tried to connect with Courtney privately.” She then followed up that apology with a Medium article in which she once again expressed her regret. In response, Stodden said, “I accept her apology and forgive her,” although they claim that Teigen has never reached out to them privately and they are still blocked by her on Twitter where the original apology was issued.
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