Trump’s Longtime CFO, Whose Testimony Could Send Him to Prison, Suggests He Had a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy on Breaking the Law

As you’ve probably heard by now, at present Donald Trump is drowning in criminal investigations and is possibly legally screwed. Aside from the whopping 29 lawsuits he is facing—which is no small thing to set aside!—he is the subject of at least three criminal investigations, the most worrisome one, from the standpoint of staying out of prison, being the Manhattan district attorney’s. For months now, Cyrus Vance Jr. has been looking into possible tax, banking, and insurance fraud, and in February scored a major victory when the Supreme Court cleared the way for him to get his hands on Trump‘s tax returns, which the ex-president responded to like a man who knows he’s broken the law and is about to get caught. Another seemingly crucial development appeared to occur earlier this month, when the former daughter-in-law of longtime Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg turned over a trove of documents to Vance‘s office that could contain the kind of information that might get Weisselberg, who has described himself as the “eyes and ears” of the Trump Organization, to flip and testify against his boss. As Jennifer Weisselberg told Air Mail of her ex-father-in-law, “Trump doesn’t care about Allen, but Allen knows every bad thing he ever did.”

And speaking of Weisselberg, over the weekend, the New York Daily News reported that the Trump Organization employee had some extremely interesting things to say in a 2015 deposition that could come back to haunt Donald Trump today. Per the Daily News:

Weisselberg’s testimony during the June 2015 deposition tied to lawsuits over the now defunct Trump University offers a rare look at the longtime bean counter—a tight-lipped and low-profile money man who’s been with the Trump Organization since it was run by Fred Trump, and who was once described by Donald Trump in 2004 as a guy who “knows how to get things done.”

In one potentially pivotal piece of information, Weisselberg said his tendency to micromanage had its limits when legal matters were involved, at least in 2015. Asked about the time he found himself “eavesdropping” on a discussion among Trump lawyers about the alleged illegality of marketing Trump’s for-profit school as a “university” in New York, Weisselberg said he didn’t delve deeper.

He admitted asking in a 2005 email if executives planned to “just set up a fictitious office in Illinois/Delaware” as they dealt with the issue, but he said his inquiry centered exclusively on cost, not propriety. “I can’t help them with that role. That’s not my thing,” he testified. “I was only concerned about the economic side of it. They were handling the legal side of it.”

As former White House ethics lawyer Richard Painter suggested on Sunday, it‘s extremely peculiar that a corporate CFO would claim he had nothing to do with the legal side of the business, which a person in his position wouldn’t be able to just wall himself off from, as it would be intertwined in the job. In fact, it‘s almost as though he was purposefully trying to distance himself from any potential law-breaking that may or may not have been going on!

As for whether or not Weisselberg would actually turn on Trump, Barbara Res, a former executive vice president at the Trump Organization, told the Daily News that while Weisselberg “thought Trump was a God” and “drank the Kool-Aid,” there are likely limits to his fealty. “I don’t believe he would commit perjury,” she said. And in fact, the CFO has already cooperated with prosecutors investigating Trump on two previous occasions—with the 2017 New York attorney general’s investigation of the Donald J. Trump Foundation and the 2018 federal probe into alleged hush money payments to Stormy Daniels and Karen MacDougal. In 2019, Trump’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, told Congress that while he personally paid Daniels the money, it was Weisselberg who “made the decision” that he should be repaid over 12 months “so that it would look like a retainer.” So, actually, it sounds like he does get involved in “legal” matters from time to time!

If you would like to receive the Levin Report in your inbox daily, click here to subscribe.

Joe Biden’s stock market performance has blown away that of all other presidents in modern history

And yet, he hasn’t tweeted about it 47 times in the span of an hour, told his followers that “Biden is the best thing that ever happened to your 401(k)s!!” or referred to himself as “your favorite president.” Curious! Per CNBC:

So far in his young presidency, President Joe Biden has been one of the best friends the stock market has ever had. Better, in fact, than any president before him going back to at least the 1950s and the Dwight Eisenhower administration, as the 46th chief executive has witnessed an unprecedented growth on Wall Street in his first 100 days in office as measured from the time of his election.

Indeed, Biden’s results have been staggering so far. The S&P 500 has risen 24.1% since Election Day with numbers that easily trounce any of his predecessors. The only administration going back to 1953, or the beginning of Eisenhower’s term, to rival Biden’s were those of John F. Kennedy, who saw an 18.5% rise during the same period. Even Trump, who often touted how well stocks were doing, saw just an 11.4% rise for the first 100 days.

“Biden’s first 100 days have already delivered the strongest postelection equity returns in at least 75 years, due to record fiscal stimulus and despite heavy use of Executive Orders,” JPMorgan Chase strategist John Normand wrote in a note. The results are “not bad for [someone former President Donald] Trump labeled as Sleepy Joe during the campaign.” Trump, of course, hysterically claimed that the stock market would crash if Biden had been elected president, tweeting, among other things: “It will be one big crash, but at least China will be happy!”; “Markets and your 401k’s will CRASH. Jobs will disappear!”; and our personal favorite, “If Sleepy Joe Biden…ever won…markets would crash and cities would burn.”

Trump’s lackeys are hard at work rewriting history

Elon Musk is hosting Saturday Night Live for some reason

A reason that apparently hasn’t been explained to anyone, including some of the cast of SNL:

Live from New York, it’s disgruntled Saturday Night Live stars! Following the shockingly weird announcement that controversial business mogul Elon Musk will be hosting the May 8 episode of SNL, the social media backlash was immediate, including from a few cast members. Standout Bowen Yang first simply reacted with a frowning face on his Instagram story, only to soon respond to Musk’s tweet of “Let’s find out just how live Saturday Night Live really is” with “What the f–k does that even mean?” Yang’s castmate Andrew Dismukes also weighed in on his story, writing, “ONLY CEO I WANT TO DO A SKETCH WITH IS CHER-E OTERI” alongside a photo of SNL legend Cheri Oteri.

More indirect was Aidy Bryant’s possible comment on the situation, as shortly after the time of the announcement the Emmy-nominee shared a Bernie Sanders tweet about the “moral obscenity” of the lack of wealth distribution in America.

Musk is worth approximately $179.4 billion, which is nice for him, though it’s not clear how it qualifies him to host the sketch-comedy show, unless he just bought NBC parent company Comcast with the specific purpose of making himself host. Which seems like something he might do just for the f–k of it.

A reminder that Rick Santorum remains a vile a-hole

Capitol rioter turned in after bragging about insurrection to Bumble match

The dating app strikes again! Per CNN:

The Justice Department has charged a Capitol rioter who was turned in by someone he matched with on the dating app Bumble, after he bragged about his exploits on January 6. According to court documents, one week after the attack, Robert Chapman of New York told one of his Bumble matches that “I did storm the Capitol” and said that he “made it all the way into Statuary Hall.” He also claimed that he was interviewed by members of the media. The other Bumble user replied, “we are not a match.” Prosecutors said the user then quickly reached out to the FBI and provided screenshots of the conversation.

Chapman was charged with four misdemeanors, including disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds. He hasn’t entered a plea and his lawyer didn’t respond to a request for comment on the charges. According to screenshots in court filings, Chapman also posted to Facebook before the January 6 insurrection that he was traveling to the “District of Criminality,” referring to Washington, D.C. And on the day of the attack, he allegedly posted, “I’M F—IN INSIDE THE CRAPITOL.”

Chapman is far from the first to be turned in by a would-be or former paramour. In February, a woman turned her ex-boyfriend in to the Feds after he “allegedly took a break from the rioting to argue with [her] over text message,” writing “If you can’t see the election was stolen you’re a moron.” In January, Larry Rendall Brock Jr., who was captured in photos wearing tactical gear and toting zip tie handcuffs on the Senate floor, was arrested and charged with violent entry and disorderly conduct after his ex-wife contacted the FBI and told them, “I just [knew] that when I saw this was happening, I was afraid he would be there. I think you already know he was there. It is such a good picture and I recognize his patch.” Shortly thereafter, Riley June Williams was charged with, among other things, disorderly conduct on Capitol property with an intent to disturb a session of Congress, after her ex told the Feds that Williams allegedly stole Nancy Pelosi’s laptop and “intended to send the computer device to a friend in Russia, who then planned to sell the device to SVR, Russia’s foreign intelligence service.”

Elsewhere!

Biden admin will share millions of AstraZeneca vaccine doses worldwide (Politico)

Photos show the deadly toll of COVID in India as coronavirus cases top 17 million (CNBC)

Once-a-Decade Census Numbers to Redraw U.S. Political Landscape (Bloomberg)

New York Loses House Seat After Coming Up 89 People Short on Census (NYT)

Rep. Liz Cheney won’t rule out potential presidential run (Politico)

A cheerleader’s Snapchat rant leads to “momentous” Supreme Court case on student speech (Washington Post)

Company Talent Contests Are Back—With Trapeze Stunts and Gingerbread Skyscrapers (WSJ)

Brazilian Man Trying to Escape Raid on Superspreader Party Was Impaled by a Spear (The Daily Beast)

Japanese man arrested after “dating more than 35 women at once to get birthday gifts” (Independent)

The Day People Named Josh Fought in Nebraska (WSJ)

— Inside the Messy Breakup of an OnlyFans Model and Her Über-Wealthy Boyfriend
— Wyoming Tells Donald Trump Jr. to Sit Down and STFU
— A Wave of Displaced New Yorkers Is Upending the Hamptons Social Order
— How a Group of Rich Memphians Acted on Trump’s Big Lie During Capitol Attack
— Prosecutors Are Lining Up Witnesses in Trump Investigations
— Republicans Brave Plan to Stop Mass Shootings: Do Nothing
— Next-Level Harassment of Female Journalists Puts News Outlets to the Test
— Six Photographers Share Images From Their COVID Year
— From the Archive: American Nightmare, the Ballad of Richard Jewell
— Serena Williams, Michael B. Jordan, Gal Gadot, and more are coming to your favorite screen April 13–15. Get your tickets to Vanity Fair’s Cocktail Hour, Live! here.