When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a lavish ceremony in May 2018, it looked like a dream come true, and it stayed that way for a few months at least. Meghan also seemed to adapt to life as a working royal easily, and shone during their international tours. But just 18 months later, the couple admitted that they were unhappy with their lives in a gilded cage and stepped down as senior royals. And this week, after a year of silence, they opened up to Oprah about what their lives were really like behind the scenes. From family discontent to racist comments to mental health struggles, some of the most iconic moments of their marriage turn out to have dark backstories.
In telling her side of the story, Meghan chose to emphasize just how different royal fact is from childhood fiction. “As Americans especially, what you do know about the royals is what you read in fairy tales,” she said. “It’s easy to have an image that is so far from reality. That’s what was so tricky over those past few years, is when the perception and the reality are two different things, and you’re being judged on the perception—but you’re living the reality of it. There’s a complete misalignment and there’s no way to explain that to people.”
Here are 11 moments from Meghan and Harry’s relationship that played out in public, but were apparently very different behind the scenes.
Meghan’s First Visit to Church With the Family, December 25, 2017
About a month after Harry and Meghan announced their engagement, Queen Elizabeth invited the soon-to-be duchess to spend Christmas with the family at Sandringham. Meghan was all smiles during the procession to St. Mary Magdalene Church, but behind the scenes, she was beginning to understand just how much she had to learn to be a part of the family. “I don’t want to embarrass them,” she said of her thinking at the time. “I need to learn these 30 hymns for church. All of this is televised. We were doing the training behind the scenes, because I just wanted to make them proud.”
The Royal Wedding, May 19, 2018
Meghan told Oprah that she did have some fun on her wedding day, partially because she and Harry had already exchanged vows three days earlier. “We were both aware in advance that this wasn’t our day, this was the day planned for the world,” she said.
Though the flower girls got plenty of attention for their adorable dresses, the decision for what they were going to wear was not without issue. Previously, the Mail on Sunday said that Meghan and Kate Middleton had argued about whether or not the girls should wear pantyhose, and that the argument left Kate in tears. However, when Meghan discussed the event, she told Oprah that Kate had actually made her cry. “I don’t say that to be disparaging to anyone, because it was a really hard week of the wedding,” Meghan added. “She was upset about something, but she owned it, and she apologized. And she brought me flowers and a note, apologizing.”
Meghan’s Day Trip Tour With the Queen, June 14, 2018
Meghan and the queen had an early rapport that has seemingly survived the upheaval of the last year. In the Oprah interview, Meghan shared a few details about what her first solo trip with the monarch was like behind the scenes. “It made me think of my grandmother, where she’s always been warm and inviting,” she said. “She gave me beautiful pearl earrings and a matching necklace. And we were in the car going between engagements, and she has a blanket that sits across her knees for warmth. And it was chilly, and she was like, ‘Meghan, come on’ and put it over my knees as well.”