We all want to claim something. To have a little purchase on the land in this lifetime. It’s the American dream, you know. Things threaten that airtight American dream, of course, which is fine. It’s not a dream if it doesn’t take some grist to get. For example, people already living on the one you want. For example, overwhelming debt. For example, rising sea levels gobbling up the surface area good for building.
But what if, hear me out, what if you just built out. Like out into the water. Yes when you’ve pressed all the way to the briny shores of the Atlantic, why not keep pressing with, like, a really long dock. Super long, over a hundred feet longer than your neighbor’s? Take back a little of that ocean that is trying to take a little bit of your land.
Well, one or two brave New Jersey residents are doing just that. Or they’re trying to. There is a plan submitted to the relevant government body in Barnegat Bay, New Jersey, asking for approval to more than double the size of their existing dock(s). The only problem with this excellent plan to make one’s mark on the roiling, rollicking seas is that they have a famous neighbor, which is never recommended. Justin Bieber and his eggs should have served as sufficient warning! Even the nice ones can attract unwelcome attention. And we know all about this long dock because the person or persons who dreamed it into existence have a neighbor in Joe Pesci.
Pesci, which means “fish” in Italian, will not stand for these long docks. He reportedly joined his neighbors to petition against the long dock in writing. It’s the kind of complaint that only a devoted tristate-area tabloid would notice, and Page Six did. Three-hundred-fifteen feet out into Barnegat Bay, New Jersey! Pesci wants to “whack” it Page Six says.
“More than doubling the length of these docks undoubtedly would block views of the Bay currently enjoyed by other area homeowners,” the Pesci-authored petition reads. “More importantly, these extensions would force boaters, kayakers, and paddlers in this area—which include children in addition to adults—to operate in waters far from land, and accordingly in the wakes of large watercraft.
“As a 30-year resident of West Point Island, I respectfully ask the department to take this opportunity to stop this trend now by denying the pending applications before it is too late,” it goes on.
I suppose that this is equally as dreamy and as brave to protect one’s little purchase, and those who share it with you. To be the guy with some standing in the community who steps up to rein in overreach, to say, hey, these guys aren’t trying to reclaim land lost but instead get out ahead of their neighbors. It’s a long-dock arms race that will never end! And there’s nothing American about that. Thank God for Pesci, honestly.
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