Like many of the worst people on Earth, Donald Trump should never have been allowed to reproduce. Unfortunately, he famously spawned numerous children with three women, only one of whom he seems to actually like. Ivanka, of course, is the golden child about whom the ex-president has a history of making wildly creepy comments, like that if she wasn’t his daughter he’d probably be dating her. Don Jr. is the fuck up, whose own father reportedly thinks—and tells people—he’s an idiot. Eric is equally dim, but only slightly less shouty about it. Barron is a child so we won’t get into him, though he should probably consider emancipation.
And then there’s Tiffany. Oh, Tiffany! After her parents divorced, she reportedly only saw her father once or twice a year, and in a capacity that sounds stilted at best. “I would bring her into New York a couple times a year and let her go see her dad in the office and let her go have dinner with him,” Marla Maples said in 2016, like she was a company colleague who worked at a regional office and was in town for meetings. When Tiffany gave her speech at the Republican National Convention later that year, the relationship sounded equally distant and awkward; one of the few anecdotes she had to share was that Trump would write notes on her report cards and, tragically, that she held onto them, presumably because they were one of her few connections to the guy. She also claimed that he was good with advice, but she added, “keeps it short,” bringing to mind a biannual phone conversation for which Trump probably allotted 10 minutes on his calendar. According to the ex-president’s former attorney Michael Cohen, the three eldest children referred to Tiffany as the “red-haired stepchild.” In an interview, Cohen’s daughter, Samantha, told Vanity Fair last year: “Tiffany and I had a mutual friend, but she knew who my dad was because Trump never wanted to deal with her, [so] my dad was helpful to her.… [It] can’t be easy being made to feel your entire life like you’re unwanted.” In other words, if the Trump clan were a normal family that did things together, Tiffany would be the one they accidentally left at the rest stop during a road trip, and didn’t realize was missing until they were 100 miles away.
All of which was probably a sad way to grow up. But if Tiffany hasn’t already come to the realization that a lack of a connection with her father was no doubt a blessing in disguise, Wednesday brings some fresh evidence:
Though she may have heard the phrase “all Trump’s…children except Tiffany” many times growing up and been upset, this time it’s objectively great news! She might have wished her father had made it to her dance recitals, and sure, it probably stung the times he ignored her calls, but if distance from him means not being implicated in his crimes, she should be thanking God for all the times he accidentally approached her in the lobby of Trump Tower and said, “What’s your name again?”
Delta Air Lines is taking no prisoners
You want to work for the company and remain unvaccinated? Fine, that’ll be $2,400. Per Bloomberg:
While Brian Kropp, chief of human resources research for the Gartner consulting firm, told Bloomberg that “Vaccine hesitant employees are likely to see this as a mandate or a punitive measure, as it creates an additional annual cost of $2,400 for that employee,” Delta is apparently unconcerned. In his memo, Bastian wrote that the fee is to “to address the financial risk” the company is taking on by employing people who refuse to get their shots; the average hospital stay for COVID-19 patients has cost the company $50,000 each, he said.
Well, this is terrifying
Elsewhere!
Pentagon orders all active and reserve military personnel to be vaccinated (Washington Post)
Moderna Seeks Full U.S. Approval for Its COVID-19 Vaccine (Bloomberg)
“I’m still not planning to get it”: FDA approval not swaying some vaccine holdouts (Washington Post)
DeSantis Faces a Revolt From Angry Parents and Schools Over Masks (Bloomberg)
Afghans running out of money as Taliban bans taking dollars out of country (Washington Post)
Pelosi assails two lawmakers who made unauthorized trip to Kabul (Washington Post)
How Target Got Cozy With the Cops, Turning Black Neighbors Into Suspects (Bloomberg)
Maybe You Don’t Want to Be in Business With Jared Kushner (Medium)
Somebody just paid $1.3 million for a picture of a rock (CNBC)
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