Report: Matt Gaetz Should Be Weeping, Rocking Back and Forth in Fetal Position Right Now

If you’re a glass-half-full type who always looks on the bright side of any situation, and Rep. Matt Gaetz came to you for some cheering up, something positive you could say to the Florida Republican would be “Hey, at least you’re not in prison!” And it’s true! He’s not in prison…yet. Per The Washington Post:

A Florida politician considered key to the investigation of Rep. Matt Gaetz formally pleaded guilty Monday to sex trafficking of a minor and a host of other crimes, agreeing to cooperate fully with prosecutors and testify in court in hopes of leniency for himself. Appearing in court Monday, Joel Greenberg, a former tax collector for Seminole County, Fla., repeatedly said, “I do” or “yes” in response to questions from magistrate judge Leslie Hoffman, affirming what he had already admitted in a written plea agreement made public last week. Wearing navy blue jailhouse clothes and a mask, he appeared pale and splotchy, and turned around several times to look back at the small crowd who had come to watch the hearing. His plea and deal to cooperate is a potentially ominous sign for Gaetz (R-Fla.), as it signals prosecutors have lined up a critical witness while they continue to investigate the congressman. Gaetz has vigorously denied wrongdoing.

Greenberg was first charged last summer in a bare-bones indictment that accused him of fabricating allegations and evidence to smear a political opponent, but prosecutors superseded it multiple times as they uncovered more damaging evidence. He ultimately agreed to plead guilty to six criminal charges—including sex trafficking of a child, aggravated identity theft and wire fraud—which come with a mandatory minimum sentence of 12 years and a statutory maximum potentially decades longer. In exchange, the prosecutors agreed to dismiss the other 27 counts Greenberg faced and recommend a term within federal sentencing guidelines, which are often far less than the statutory maximum penalties.

Now, we‘re no lawyers, but it certainly seems as though one would have to bring something big—like, say, evidence a member of Congress committed a host of crimes—to get prosecutors to whittle one’s charges down from 33 to just 6. According to the Post, the government also agreed to recommend other potential sentencing breaks, wherein a judge could choose to ignore the minimum required sentence, and Greenberg could get less than 12 years. That is, if he is determined to have provided “substantial assistance.”

While the plea agreement did not identify Gaetz by name, it laid out how Greenberg paid women for sex not just with him but unnamed “others.” According to The Washington Post, Gaetz repeatedly boasted of the “access to women that Joel provided him.” And as The New York Times reported back in March, the Department of Justice only began to look into allegations that Gaetz had compensated women for sex and slept with a minor, who he also allegedly transported across state lines, as it was investigating Greenberg, whom Gaetz met in 2017. At that point, the duo proceeded to allegedly commit a bunch of sex crimes together, for which they seemingly left a digital paper trail on Venmo and other online payment platforms.

Earlier this month, the Daily Beast reported that Greenberg had written a “confession” letter, in the hopes of obtaining a pardon from Donald Trump via Roger Stone, in which he admitted facilitating Gaetz’s interactions with the women and paying them on the congressman’s behalf. In April, after news broke that Greenberg would likely cooperate with the feds, reporters asked his lawyer, Fritz Scheller, “Does Matt Gaetz have anything to worry about?” After bursting out laughing, Scheller responded, “I’m sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today.” On Monday, Scheller declined to say what Greenberg’s plea would mean for Gaetz, only offering: “To paraphrase The Matrix, the plea agreement has a path, Mr. Greenberg just has to walk the path.”

During Greenberg’s hearing, a plane towing a banner reading, “Tick Tock Matt Gaetz” flew over the courthouse, which put him in good company with his buddy Donald Trump, who was welcomed to Florida in January with a plane flying near Mar-a-Lago with a banner reading, “Worst President Ever.”

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