One of the most cringeworthy subplots to emerge from Donald Trump’s attempt to take down Joe Biden via his son was the one in which Eric and Donald Trump Jr. were assigned the task of attacking Hunter Biden on charges of nepotism and trading on his family name. Yes, Don and Eric, who have spent nearly their entire adult lives working for the Trump Organization, which was cofounded by their grandfather and is owned by their dad. Yes, Don and Eric, who are reportedly both worth approximately $25 million apiece—virtually all of which can be attributed to their father’s company—despite Don Jr. being responsible for fuckups like helping to launch Trump Mortgage in 2006 only to see it collapse less than a year later and Eric running Trump Winery, where the house wine tastes like “Welch’s grape jelly with alcohol.” Yes, Don and Eric, who spent their dad’s entire time in office profiting off of the presidency, and tried to host the G7 summit at their Miami resort, only reversing the decision after deafening criticism they apparently didn’t see coming.
“I wish my name was Hunter Biden,” Don Jr. said out loud on TV in October 2019. “I could go abroad and make millions off my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy.” (He is, and it’s because his name is Donald Trump.) “When you’re the father and your son’s entire career is dependent on that, they own you,” he also said on TV the same month, unintentionally describing his own situation. “If I was doing the same thing that that family was doing, I’d be in jail,” Eric complained to Jeanine Pirro around the same time. “Why is it that every family goes into politics and enriches themselves? We’re the only family—we stopped doing deals when my father became [president]…. Guess what? All of these kids, they started doing deals when their families went into politics, and it’s sickening.” (Actually, the Trump kids continued doing deals when their father became president, and the reason Donald Trump ran for office in the first place was to enrich himself and his family.)
The whole thing reached the apex of un-self-awareness and stupidity in March 2020, when Don Jr., who apparently thought anyone would pay $50,000 to hear him speak if his father hadn’t been president, challenged Hunter Biden to a nepotism-off. Speaking to Axios, the president’s namesake proposed that he and Hunter release their tax returns and then “talk about all of the places where I am supposedly grifting but Hunter Biden isn’t…. Let’s talk about who profited off of whose public service. Happy to do it. Let’s make it happen.”
Obviously, this “debate” never happened (nor did Junior’s father ever release his tax returns, though they are now in the hands of the Manhattan district attorney). But, just for yuks, Hunter Biden decided to address the issue in his new memoir, Beautiful Things. While the book largely focuses on his struggles with substance abuse and the death of his brother, Beau Biden, the younger Biden son begins by referencing Team Trump’s attacks on him for the work he did abroad “even as [Trump’s] own children had pocketed millions in China and Russia.” At one point, he calls out Don Jr. and Eric for getting rich solely thanks to their dad whereas Hunter writes, “I’ve worked for someone other than my father, rose and fell on my own.” While acknowledging his own privilege—“there’s no question my last name was a coveted credential,” he says—he takes aim at the ex-president‘s adult children for suggesting they‘re self-made individuals who didn’t reap the benefits of their family name. “Do you think if any of the Trump children ever tried to get a job outside of their father’s business that his name wouldn’t figure into the calculation? My response has always been to work harder so that my accomplishments stand on their own,” he writes.
None of the Trump kids appear to have responded to the remark so far, but surely they’ll do so on an episode of Hannity soon.
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