As part of a recurring feature of his presidency, Donald Trump took to a podium in the White House Friday afternoon to rattle off a string of incoherent lies. Kicking things off with a COVID-19-based rant, Trump once again insisted a vaccine is just around the corner and that Joe Biden has “anti-vaccine theories,” because the Democratic nominee has said he would only get the immunization if scientists endorsed it, and not simply because the guy banking his reelection on it says it’s good. Then the snarled and rat-chewed synapses in his brain fired off this:
“In a short time we’ll have a safe and effective vaccine and we’ll defeat the virus,” Trump said. “Interestingly, as I was saying, it will go very well just like what we did with our military, with respect to ISIS, went very well. Long ahead of schedule.” (Incidentally, this isn’t the first time Trump has described COVID-19 like a human adversary. In April, he told reporters the virus was a “very brilliant enemy” and a “genius.”)
Next, presumably after being told that Puerto Ricans living in Florida are allowed to vote, Trump announced that the federal government just released $13 billion in grants for the territory’s education and electrical systems and dubbed himself “the best thing that ever happened to Puerto Rico.” As a reminder, in the wake of Hurricane Maria, Trump:
-
Publicly trashed the mayor of San Juan for having the audacity to request relief funds
-
Told Puerto Ricans, to their faces, that their catastrophe wasn’t “real…like Katrina”
-
Tossed paper towels into a crowd of survivors like he was shooting merch out of a T-shirt gun at Madison Square Garden
-
Claimed that their death toll was inflated to help the Democrats
-
Blocked desperately needed aid to the territory for months
So declaring himself the greatest thing that ever happened to Puerto Rico is sort of like calling yourself a hero for donating a liver to someone who died of cirrhosis three years ago, especially if you spent the entire time they were sick standing over their hospital bed and calling them a mooch and a drama queen.
But with the election just 45 days away, Trump had something more important to do than gaslight Puerto Ricans and claim to be their lord and savior. Turning his attention to November, the president falsely claimed, as he has done countless times over the last few months, that mail-in voting is rife with fraud and that 80 million “unsolicited” ballots are being sent in. He then suggested that it would be a travesty if officials insisted on counting all the ballots before calling the election in his favor:
Laying the groundwork to contest any outcome he doesn’t like—i.e the one in which Biden wins—Trump concluded by warning people that November 3, 2020, will be “the scam of all time,” unless (a) Republican judges do him a solid and throw out mail-in ballots or (b) the results work out in his favor, in which case the election was legitimate and fraud-free.
As he left the room, reporter Hallie Jackson asked if mail-in voting will still be considered a scam “if you win, sir,” and while Trump didn’t provide a verbal response, you can probably guess the answer to that.