Pop Culture

Elon Musk’s Son Has No Clue About Spoons

Elon Musk has been a fringe character in the ongoing libel trial of Johnny Depp versus the publisher of The Sun (which called Depp a “wife beater” in a 2018 article, in reference to his relationship with ex-wife Amber Heard). Depp has accused him of maintaining a relationship with Heard while she and Depp were married. Heard spent some of her time on the stand Monday and Tuesday attempting to bat down those accusations. (Musk, for his part, has denied that they started seeing each other before the divorce filing from Depp.)

In text messages, Musk offered to “engage 24/7 security” and said “the offer would stand even if you never wanted to see me again.” She had apparently stopped texting back prior to these messages—ghosting, if you must. Later Musk wrote, “Anyway, sorry for being an idiot. The radio silence hurt a lot. It only matters because I really like you.” Musk made the security offer the day after Depp allegedly threw a phone at Heard in their L.A. penthouse. (Depp has denied throwing the phone.)

Eleanor Laws, one of Depp’s attorneys who questioned Heard, asked about the messages. “Time and again you have accused [Depp] of being jealous, but we can see here you are in communication with someone,” she said. Heard responded, “I think all jealousy could be deemed illogical.”

Laws leaned into testimony given by Alejandro Romero, a concierge at the Eastern Columbia Building. Romero claimed he saw Musk “when Mr. Depp was in Australia,” and wrote, “From March 2015 onwards, Ms. Heard was visited regularly late at night, at around 11 p.m. to midnight, by Mr. Elon Musk,” adding that Musk had his own key fob. Heard denied this on the stand. “He’s wrong,” she said. “I wasn’t even in communication with Elon until 2016.”

Over in Musk’s own life, where he is not a fringe character, but a central one, he is posting a photo of himself holding his and Grimes’s newborn son and tweeting in German: “Das baby kann noch keinen löffel benutzen.

In English this translates to: “The baby is not able to use a spoon yet.” I Googled the phrase because it was a slow morning, and this 2014 German Duolingo forum entry came up. So Elon Musk is learning German via Duolingo, or some other method? Or he secretly knows German? Or does he have Germany on the mind thanks to Tesla losing a case last week over the ability to use the term “autopilot” to describe a Tesla feature? Whatever the case, it’s true that his baby is not able to use a spoon yet. That baby probably has no idea what a spoon is. He doesn’t know a thing about the mess of the world either, whether lawsuits or pandemics or the naming of Tesla features. Sounds like absolute bliss.

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