Pop Culture

Donald Trump’s Big-Boy Love Affair With Trucks Continues in the Rose Garden

Toot, toot, motherfuckers, physics class is in session in the Rose Garden. Over here is a big blue truck full of weights. Over there is another big red truck full of weights. Even more over there is a big “Trump administration”-branded crane lifting the weights off the truck. Guess which one the crane is lifting the weights off in a way that is good? If you don’t know, we’re holding you back to a remedial agitprop course, one called “Honk, honk, for big-truck boys.” Trump taught that one in 2017, but he can always bring it back!

If you got the answer right (it’s the one that’s red, like some people’s hands), then please advance from these clunky messaging tactics to outright lying…with trucks! It started when truckers protested shipping rates while Trump was giving another speech about a coronavirus vaccine in May. At the time he assured the crowd, quote, “Those are truckers that are with us all the way. They’re protesting in favor of President Trump. ”

“That is a sign of love,” he said.

It was not—how do you say?—amore. The big rigs were protesting low shipping rates, which “they say could force many of them out of business,” per the A.P.

Anyway, on Thursday, during another barely veiled campaign rally, the White House has once again tapped trucks, built to carry weight, in order to prove (?) a point (??) about environmental regulations. As the governor of Idaho, Brad Little, told the crowd assembled, “As the vice president alluded to, our route to rebound is dependent upon the red truck, not the blue truck.” Vice President Mike Pence successfully identified it as a joke and emitted laughter.

Basically the idea is that you can run more water and pollute more, and by you I mean corporations which are people. Here are the words Trump formed about water preservation on Thursday: “So showerheads—you take a shower, the water doesn’t come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesn’t come out. So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair—I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect. Dishwashers—you didn’t have any water, so you—the people that do the dishes—you press it, and it goes again, and you do it again and again. So you might as well give them the water because you’ll end up using less water. So we made it so dishwashers now have a lot more water. And in many places—in most places of the country, water is not a problem. They don’t know what to do with it. It’s called ‘rain.’ They don’t have a problem.”

Thanks!

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